We all let little things get us down sometimes. But I've noticed I let it happen too much. Say a song will come on, and I'll be sitting there listening to the lyrics, and sometimes they'll remind me of my ex bestfriend or something like that. I'll start thinking about everything she's done, and get really pissed off or sad, it ruins my day when that happens. I working on fixing that. It's the past, she did lame shit, doesn't deserve me as a friend now. That's just what I need to tell myself from now on.
That also ties in to things I've frequently thought about. I know I worry alot, way more than I should actually. But I've been thinking, and little things have been pointing stuff out to me. When someone worrys about you, that shoulden't get you mad or anything. You should be grateful that someones out there thinking about you. When someone worrys about another person it's just another way of showing they care about them. They're thinking about them when they could be doing anything. So to anyone who thinks it's silly or gets mad when someone gets worried, think about it first, they just care, and they're thinking about you, you shoulden't get mad about that, be happy someone out there cares for you!
Ahh now onto this. My parents have been fighting lately, about money as usual. This time though, it happened when my dad came inside to drop us off and talk to my mom about my brothers play. They started arguing cause my mom can't pay for it cause she's lost alot of hours for work so moneys extremely tight. My dad brought up the "I pay child support" bullshit, and I just sat there looking at my mom, my dad was hurting her, the way he was talking down to her, trying to make himself look like the good guy cause he was gunna pull through for my brother and pay. So I waited till it got silent, and told my dad off. Told him how much my mom does for me and my brother, and how she's never asked for a raise in the child support, and how what he pay's doesn't cover shit now a days, and how hard she has to work just to get food on the table. Let alone everything else she has to do with sports and driving us around everywhere. I told my dad he didn't do shit compared to everything she does. He just gave me this long look, and then said bye to Mike and left.
Then today, well I'm not even going to get that into it, but basically my mom tried to give up and drive the friggen car off the road into a rock wall. She can't handle shit anymore. It's just a good thing I was there. That's all I'll say.
All that has made me realize everything that my mom does for me though, how hard she has to work to give us everything we think we need. She deserves so much more respect and help than she's been getting around here, and I feel like I need to step up and change that.
And I can't tell you how sick of the government I am. Both the canidates for President are pathetic. Obama has a huge head and ears, and he thinks he can make the world a better place by himself. Mccain looks like a child molester, thinks keeping the troops in Iraq is gunna get the "job" done. FYI...no progress has been made since we got there. Keeping the troops there is just teaching murder, thinking it's okay to go fight and kill people cause you have differences. You can't bring democracy to a place that doesn't want it. Not every country wants to be just like America, so let them be and get the fuck out of there. And neither of them are gunna help us out financially, maybe Obama a little bit, but not a huge change. And I wish religion could stay out of politics, that just makes everything more fucked up. Aghh, fuck America.
The envoirnment is so dirty now. Fossil fuels don't help one bit. They're mainly what's destroying it, ozone, atmosphere, air we breathe, everything. And with the high prices of gas you would think people would want a change, but no, everyone just keeps driving gas guzzling trucks that harm the envoirnment and lets the gas companies rob them of they're money that's supposibly tight for everyone right now. We have choices. We could stop producing cars like we did in World War Two, and put all that money and resources into researching new energy sources, but everyone want's the newest and the greatest, so I guess that idea's down the drain. Lay off the metals, plastics and fuels, my fucking god. Recycle anything that can be recycled. We could all just walk or bike to places that aren't too far away, maybe solve the obesity problem too, Americans woulden't be so fucking huge if they got off their asses and walked for once. Stop tearing down forests to just to put in a new mall or fast food restaurant or some other pointless waste of space like that. Stop driving gas guzzling cars everywhere, walk or bike for once, it's good for you. Don't watch so much tv or be on the computer so much, and turn everything off when you're not using it. Every little bit helps.
Unless everyone wants the world to literally become a raging inferno (with the rate that we're at now, it won't take too long for the world to become something like that) it's time for change. I'm sick of being one of the few who actually care.
I've noticed I've changed so much this year. Became a better person, I think. Although there's some down sides to that, like how I worry too much, and often can't explain what I'm thinking, there's some good sides too. I'm out of most of my bad habbits, drug free, care about everything now, and I actually know how it feels to love and be loved back, thanks to someone. :]
